這是好姐妹Lavanya的分享，我喜歡。
全然信任和臣服的考驗
我是從事撰稿的行業。然而，我已經離職了，目前正在為一個即將在新加坡舉辦的靜心營當義工。
我練習沙瑪版靜心至今已有兩年了，這次我有機會在這個活動上奉獻我的技能。從那時起，我就有很多不同的靈修體驗，包括這剛剛發生的事件。
上個星期我們都忙碌于推廣和宣傳的工作，包括星期日與錄像師開會討論關於活動視頻的製作，結束時已經很晚了。
我和一個很要好的靈魂姐妹Wai ling一起搭計程車回家。在途中，我們都筋疲力盡了，彼此沒說太多話。當我回到家時，才發現我的手提電腦留在計程車上。儘管如此，我的内心還是感覺很鎮定和平靜。
我把這件事告訴Wai Ling，她叫我把注意力放在師父的蓮花腳上。我們已經呈交失物招領報告給計程車公司了，一切就交由他們處理。隔天任何我企圖要做的工作也停止，我嘗試用我妹妹的手提電腦來工作，但也檔機了。
内在有一個訊號暗示我，在那一天我不該做任何事。因此，我就單純地享受平靜，讀一些書等等。我覺得這事件是一個全然信任和臣服的考驗，很多時候我們的臣服並不全然，感覺這是很好的一堂課。
這個手提電腦不是我買的，它也不是我個人使用的。自從買了後，它也只是用在做師父的工作。這次手提電腦丟失了，很多工作都因此而暫停，然而這都不是在我手上，我不帶任何期望地臣服。Swamiji,如果你找到或找不到它，對我來説都沒問題,我把這一切都交托給你。
昨天早上，我起來時接到一通電話通知我的手提電腦找到了。我去領取後，就去靜坐中心。我把手提電腦放在靈妙体照片面前，同時我也站在靈妙体前面。
從内在有一種感覺升起。「Swamiji,任憑怎樣，你經常都給我足夠的經驗證明況你一直都在眷顧我。自從我沒有工作以來，對我來説這期間最關心的也就是金錢。雖然不時常擔心，但這部分都是由於家庭的一些義務。」
然而，當我站在靈妙体照片前面，覺得這種情形就像同手提電腦事件一樣，Swamiji的恩典多于我們所局限的。所以我把一切都臣服，他會照顧我，一切就只在他腳下。
我放下一切。
當我靜坐時，一首叫Guruvar Tere Charno
Mein 的歌在我内在浮現。我知道它跟師父的蓮花腳有關，但我不清楚這首歌的真正含義。之後我去問朋友Shital，她解釋歌的意思是：
「師父，當把意識專注在你的腳下，我們不要在執著的世界裏遊蕩。
無論我們在哪裏，你的祝福都與我們同在。我們祈求意識依然如恆河般的純淨。」
讀完後，我哭了。我還一直沉浸在這整個經驗裏，我感到非常感激和自由。Swamiji給予我的非常多，而且也一直照顧我。
這一切沒有什麽是屬於我的，全都是你的，一切都是你的意願。我不會再為任何東西擔心。
我的生命在你腳下。
My Life is at Your Feet
Test of total faith and surrender
I am a copywriter by profession. However, I have stopped working to be part of some voluntary work for an upcoming meditation event in Singapore.
I have been practising Samarpan Meditation for two years now and when the opportunity to came to dedicate the skill sets I have for this event, I went for it. Since then, there have been so many different anubhootis(spiritual experiences) and this just happened.
We had a pretty busy week last week with outreach and publicity. There was also a meeting with the videographer regarding the event video that ended quite late on Sunday evening.
On the way back, Wai ling, my very good soul sister and I took a cab back. We were so exhausted we barely talked. I got back home and realised that the laptop was left in the cab. Despite that, I felt really calm and quiet inside.
I told Wai Ling about it and she told me to keep my attention on the guru charan (guru’s lotus feet). We lodged a lost and found report with the cab company and I left it at that. Any attempt to do work the next day was also halted. I tried to use my sister’s laptop and of all days it was also hanging.
Then came a signal from within that I wasn’t supposed to do anything that day. So, I just enjoyed staying still, reading some books and etc.I also started to feel that this situation is a test of complete faith and surrender. Many a times we surrender but never really fully and this felt like a very good lesson for it.
This laptop was not bought by me. It has also not been used for my personal use. Since purchased, it has only been used to do guru karya (guru’s work). There was a lot of work pending from it however it was not in my hands and I surrendered with no expectations: Swamiji, if you find it, you find it and if you don’t, it’s okay. I leave it all up to you.
Yesterday morning, I awoke when I received a call to say that the laptop was found. I went to collect it and headed to the meditation centre. I placed the laptop in front of the subtle body photo and stood there.
This feeling from within arosed that Swamiji, you have always given me enough experiences to show that you will always take care of me no matter what.One of the biggest concerns for me during this time was money since I’m not working full time. Not a constant worry, but it comes up here and there partially because of some obligations with family.
However, when I stood before the subtle body photo, it felt like with this situation with the laptop too, Swamiji’s grace is more than our limitations. So just surrender it all. He will take care of it. Just be at his feet.
And I let go.
I meditated and a song called Guruvar Tere Charno Mein rose from within. I knew it had to do with guru charan but didn’t know what the song meant. So I asked my friend, Shital. She replied:
“Gurudev, when the Chitta remains at your feet, then we do not wander in the web of worldly attachments.”
“Your blessings are upon us wherever we go in the world. The Chitta remains pure like the Ganga, that is what we ask for.”
Upon reading it, I started crying. I am still so overwhelmed by the entire experience and I feel so grateful and free. Swamiji has given me so much and will take care of me, always.
Nothing of me is mine and everything is yours, as you wish. I will not worry about anything anymore.
My life is at your feet.
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